In this Christian walk, there will be three categories of believers you will encounter on the journey:
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Those on the same spiritual maturity level as yourself
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Those with a lower spiritual maturity level as yourself
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Those with a higher spiritual maturity level than yourself
The way WE RELATE to each is critical to our own spiritual growth. Most believers in my humble estimation do well with 1 and most times with 2 but very few do well with 3 and therefore much time and space will be dedicated to 3 in this post.
SAME SPIRITUAL MATURITY LEVEL AS YOURSELF
How do we relate with those on the same spiritual maturity level as ourselves? We encourage each other in the Lord. Iron sharpens iron. In lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.
LOWER SPIRITUAL MATURITY LEVEL AS YOURSELF
For those with a lower spiritual maturity level as you self, you encourage them and mentor them. This includes discipleship training in the ways of God—not just his acts. This is why younger wives are to be mentored by older wives for instance. We become busy bodies, gossiping about people when we have not been properly mentored.
Tit 2:3-6 AMP
(3) Bid the older women similarly to be reverent and devout in their deportment as becomes those ENGAGED IN SACRED SERVICE, not SLANDERERS or slaves to drink. They are to give good counsel and be teachers of what is right and noble,
(4) So that they will wisely train the young women to be sane and sober of mind (temperate, disciplined) and to love their husbands and their children,
(5) To be self-controlled, chaste, homemakers, good-natured (kindhearted), adapting and subordinating themselves to their husbands, that the word of God may not be exposed to reproach (blasphemed or discredited).
(6) In a similar way, urge the younger men to be self-restrained and to behave prudently [taking life seriously].
Verse 3-5 is he advice on how new believers in the Lord who are wise should be trained by older wives in the Lord. Verse 6 speaks of how men in the Lord should be mentored by men with higher maturity in Christ.
SLANDERER
Verse 3 tells us a slanderer is not mature. One cannot engage in the service of the Lord and slander at the same time. Why?
Pro 10:18 AMP … he who utters slander is a [self-confident] FOOL. [Prov. 26:24-26.]
SLA'NDER is defined as "A false tale or report maliciously uttered. and tending to injure the reputation of another by lessening him in the esteem of his fellow citizens, by exposing min to impeachment and punishment, or by impairing his means of lining; defamation. Slander as one of that worst of poisons, ever finds an easy entrance to ignoble minds. To SLA'NDER is to defame; to injure by maliciously uttering a false report respecting one; to tarnish or impair the reputation of one by false tales, maliciously told or propagated. God does not approve of slanderers.
In chapter 5, the Apostle explains what happens when a young person in the Lord does not receive mentorship and remains idle:
1Ti 5:11-15 KJV
(11) But the younger widows refuse: for when they have begun to wax wanton against Christ, they will marry;
(12) Having damnation, because they have cast off their first faith.
(13) And withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house; and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not.
(14) I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.
(15) For some are already turned aside after Satan.
Another example where we mentor those with a lower spiritual maturity than us is Barnabas and Saul, Paul and John Mark (although Paul failed at this task), Barnabas and John Mark, Elijah and Elisha etc.
HIGHER SPIRITUAL MATURITY LEVEL THAN YOUR SELF
How does one relate with those who have higher spiritual authority than ourselves. We must honour them and learn from them. By standing on their shoulders, we can begin where they end instead of reinventing wheels of history. Put differently if we learn from them, we will not repeat the same mistakes they made.
This includes our parents and those who train us in the teachings of the lord. It also includes anyone who is more spiritually mature than us.
1Ti 5:17 AMP Let the elders who perform the duties of their office well be considered DOUBLY WORTHY of honor [and of adequate financial support], especially THOSE WHO LABOR FAITHFULLY IN PREACHING AND TEACHING.
The introduction of "especially" means they are not the only ones. This scripture refers to all who are more mature than us and serve God by performing one duty or the other—even if it is not in your denomination. We must respect such folk—considering them DOUBLY WORTHY of honor. But what is honor?
HONOUR—TIMĒ
The word honour as used in 1Tim 5:17 is timē in Gk pronounced tee-may'.
What is it defined as? It is defined thus:
To honour is to value, to esteem (especially of the highest degree), to value as precious. It is connected to the honour which one has by reason of rank and state of office which he holds. To honour is to revere.
Timē occurs 43 times in scripture. It's the same word used in the following passages, Rev 4:9, Rev 5:11-13, Rev 7:12 and Rev 19:1—describing honour due to God.
This is strange. Why would God allow the less mature in the Lord to render double honour (Timē), to men when it is the same honour due to Him? Why give it to men?
The answer is simple. They are God's ambassadors or representatives on earth. Many in Christendom do not understand that if you dishonour a representative of any president or king, it's the same as disrespecting or dishonouring that president or king. This is the mystery of delegation. This is why Jesus said, if we have seen him, we have seen the Father. If the US president sends a representative to my government and my government mistreats this man in a certain manner, it is considered an act of war again the USA. To dishonour men sent of God is to declare war against God's kingdom. Its treason. In like manner to honour a man of God is to honour God himself and vice versa. But what if the man of God has backslidden? Can I not judge him?
Rom 14:4 AMP Who are you to pass judgment on and censure another's household servant? It is before his own master that he stands or falls. And he shall stand and be upheld, for the Master (the Lord) is mighty to support him and make him stand.
It is God who can judge him—not you. If you truly believe s/he has backslidden, you can respectfully leave that assembly but do not go around slandering the person.
EXAMPLE OF ELI
Eli was a priest in scripture who did not discipline his sons— Hophni and Phinehas who were also priests of the LORD under their father Eli. Consequently, these sons slept with the ushers, took the choicest sacrifice that belonged to God and defiled God's house. One would say Eli is a failure and not worthy of respect. He was also very overweight and that is what aided his eventual death.
One day, Eli walked into the temple and sees Hannah—a barren lady crying in prayer to God in silence though her lips moved. Because she was in agony of soul, she looked drunk. Many would have gotten angry at this priest who did not rule his house well and was overweight without any fasting. But how did Hannah respond? It was her response to an authority figure in God's system (who in man's eyes was not worthy of honur) that led to her barrenness being broken.
1Sa 1:13-20 AMP
(13) Hannah was speaking in her heart; only her lips moved but her voice was not heard. So Eli thought she was drunk.
(14) Eli said to her, How long will you be intoxicated? Put wine away from you.
(15) But Hannah answered, No, my lord, I am a woman of a sorrowful spirit. I have drunk neither wine nor strong drink, but I was pouring out my soul before the Lord. [Gen. 19:34.]
(16) Regard not your handmaid as a wicked woman; for out of my great complaint and bitter provocation I have been speaking.
(17) Then Eli said, Go in peace, and may the God of Israel grant your petition which you have asked of Him.
(18) Hannah said, Let your handmaid find grace in your sight. So [she] went her way and ate, her countenance no longer sad.
(19) The family rose early the next morning, worshiped before the Lord, and returned to their home in Ramah. Elkanah knew Hannah his wife, and the Lord remembered her.
(20) Hannah became pregnant and in due time bore a son and named him Samuel [heard of God], Because, she said, I have asked him of the Lord.
See verse 17 and 20. Verse 20 was the answer or consequence of verse 17. Let us assume she had been angry at Eli the fat priest. Would she had gotten pregnant? Absolutely not.
EXAMPLE OF DAVID
David performed a task for King Saul—vanquished Goliath—and in exchange, he was promised the King's daughter—amongst other things but when the King saw he was growing popular, he started to dislike and even hate David. The King, Father In-law, reneged on his promise and gave his daughter who had become David's wife away to another man. Not only that, he started to hunt David like men hunt animals.
During this period, the King did something that caused God to reject him as King. In his place God anointed David as the successor. After the anointing of David, he never clamoured for the throne but allowed Saul to rule while he became a fugitive because Saul was hunting him down to kill him.
On one of the occasions, when SAUL returned from following the Philistines, he was told, Behold, David is in the Wilderness of En-gedi.
1Sa 24 AMP
(2) Then Saul took 3,000 chosen men out of all Israel and went to seek David and his men among the Rocks of the Wild Goats.
(3) He came to the sheepfolds on the way, where there was a cave, and Saul went in to relieve himself. Now David and his men were sitting in the cave's innermost recesses.
(4) David's men said to him, Behold the day of which the Lord said to you, Behold, I will deliver your enemy into your hands and you shall do to him as seems good to you. Then David arose [in the darkness] and stealthily cut off the skirt of Saul's robe.
Notice the words of David's men. They said it is God who had given David's enemy into his hands. But what was David's response?
1Sa 24 AMP
(4) David's men said to him, Behold the day of which the Lord said to you, Behold, I will deliver your enemy into your hands and you shall do to him as seems good to you. THEN DAVID AROSE [IN THE DARKNESS] AND STEALTHILY CUT OFF THE SKIRT OF SAUL'S ROBE.
(5) Afterward, David's heart smote him because he had cut off Saul's skirt.
(6) He said to his men, The Lord forbid that I should do this to MY MASTER, THE LORD'S ANOINTED, to put my hand out against him, when HE IS THE ANOINTED OF THE LORD.
David had been anointed by God through Prophet Samuel as new King. Saul had been rejected by God because of his disobedience and yet was still on the throne. It was thus logical that the legitimate King who had become homeless running away from the illegitimate one should seize this opportunity to end King Saul's life so he could begin his legitimate rule. Not only did David NOT kill his hunter but he checked his men and did not allow them to lay a finger on Saul.
1Sa 24:1-22 AMP
(7) So David CHECKED his men with these words and did not let them rise against Saul. But Saul rose up and left the cave and went on his way.
But why would David not touch the Lord's anointed?
Psa 105:15 KJV Saying, TOUCH NOT mine anointed, and do my prophets no harm.
1Ch 16:22 AMP Saying, TOUCH NOT My anointed, and do My prophets no harm. [Gen. 20:7.]
Gen 20:7 AMP So now restore to the man his wife, for he is a prophet, and he will pray for you and you will live. But if you do not restore her [to him], know that you shall surely die, you and all who are yours.
In Gen 20:7, Abraham had lied and yet God defended his anointed. I do not have to teach the why now. Maybe some other time. The key issue is David was familiar with this concept and that is why he could not touch Saul.
Look at what King David then did:
1Sa 24 AMP
(8) David also arose afterward and went out of the cave and called after Saul, saying, MY LORD THE KING! And when Saul looked behind him, David bowed with his face to the earth and did obeisance.
David refers to the man who had perpetuated all manner of wickedness against him as My lord, My King! In verse 11 he calls Saul, My Father—still honouring Saul. This is a man who knows how to honour—because he feared God who anointed God.
Verse 18 is instructive. Saul admitted what the men of David told David in verse 4—that it was the Lord who gave Saul into David's hand.
Why did the Lord do that? To see what David would do? Would David take matters into his own hands and kill his enemy or spare him and let God do the avenging? Do not take revenge, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord (Romans 12:19).
1Sa 24:1-22 AMP
(9) And David said to Saul, Why do you listen to the words of men who say, David seeks to do you harm?
(10) Behold, your eyes have seen how the Lord gave you today into my hands in the cave. Some told me to kill you, but I spared you; I said, I will not put forth my hand against my lord, for he is the Lord's anointed.
(11) See, my father, see the skirt of your robe in my hand! Since I cut off the skirt of your robe and did not kill you, you know and see that there is no evil or treason in my hands. I HAVE NOT SINNED AGAINST YOU, YET YOU HUNT MY LIFE TO TAKE IT.
(12) May the Lord judge between me and you, and may the Lord avenge me upon you, but my hand shall not be upon you.
(13) As the proverb of the ancients says, Out of the wicked comes forth wickedness; but my hand shall not be against you.
(14) After whom has the king of Israel come out? After whom do you pursue? After a dead dog? After a flea?
(15) May the Lord be judge and judge between me and you, and see and plead my cause, and deliver me out of your hands. [Ps. 142.]
What the preceding verse s tell us is if you have a problem with someone of higher rank than you, there is nothing wrong with telling them this issue. But allow verse 15 to play out. Let God be the judge. We are not the judge, nor the jury or executioners.
For not touching King Saul, even his enemy Saul blessed him in verse 19-20.
(16) When David had said this to Saul, Saul said, Is this your voice, my son David? And Saul lifted up his voice and wept.
(17) He said to David, You are more upright in God's eyes than I, for you have repaid me good, but I have rewarded you evil.
(18) You have declared today how you have dealt well with me; for when the Lord gave me into your hand, you did not kill me.
(19) For if a man finds his enemy, will he let him go away unharmed? Therefore may the Lord reward you with good for what you have done for me this day.
(20) And now, behold, I well know that you shall surely be king and that the kingdom of Israel shall be established in your hands.
(21) Swear now therefore to me by the Lord that you will not cut off my descendants after me and that you will not destroy my name out of my father's house.
(22) David gave Saul his oath; and Saul went home, but David and his men went up to the stronghold.
David refused to kill this King. This is the man whom God had rejected, who had given your wife to another man, who had sought to kill you many times, who obviously hates your guts? Why not kill him or simply allow your men to do so? After all, Prophet Samuel has anointed you as the new King.
How can he be the Lord's anointed? He has been rejected by God according to Prophet Samuel.
Rom 11:29 AMP For God's GIFTS and HIS CALL are IRREVOCABLE. [He never withdraws them when once they are given, and He does not change His mind about those to whom He gives His grace or to whom He sends His call.]
David understood this scripture. God never takes his anointing back. This means one can be rejected by God and yet be anointed. Point is, even if they backslide, you do not have permission to treat them as if they are not anointed. Even if Abraham lies, you cannot take his wife. This understanding is part of what made King David great. He knew how to relate with those with higher authority than himself—the Lord's anointed. He also understood how to honour those who men deem not worthy of honour because of their shortcomings. No wonder he was a man after God's own heart.
Act 13:22 AMP And when He had deposed him, He raised up David to be their king; of him He bore witness and said, I have found David son of Jesse A MAN AFTER MY OWN HEART, who will do all My will and carry out My program fully. [I Sam. 13:14; Ps. 89:20; Isa. 44:28.]
Always understand this:
Rom 13:1-2
(1) LET EVERY person be loyally subject to the governing (civil) authorities. For THERE IS NO AUTHORITY EXCEPT FROM GOD [BY HIS PERMISSION, His sanction], and those that exist do so by God's appointment. [Prov. 8:15.]
(2) Therefore HE WHO RESISTS AND SETS HIMSELF UP AGAINST THE AUTHORITIES RESISTS WHAT GOD HAS APPOINTED AND ARRANGED [in divine order]. And those who resist will bring down judgment upon themselves [receiving the penalty due them].
There is no authority be it in civil, religious or other arenas that are not sanctioned by God. To resist these men in authority positions is to resist and set yourself up against the authorities God has appointed and arranged. And those who resist will bring down judgment upon themselves.
If you do not want to honour them, that is your problem but do not slander or resist them.
I could go on with Noah and Ham, Moses and His Sister Miriam and Paul and Peter but maybe next time. Honour your elders. Honour parents. Scripture never said honour parents ONLY IF they pay your school fees and are perfect.
God bless your study and Shalom!